Maybe open up and be a bit more vulnerable about your experience and what's going on for you.” It's really about developing assertiveness but also vulnerability. “I'm talking as a gay man now, but even if they're fully supportive, other people might not realise how intense the experience of exploring and being open about your sexuality can be. “Take the lead with language in your communication about how you define your sexuality,” Hutchinson advises. If you’re confident, the other person will usually respect your identity. It’s not easy at first, but it does get better. Getting used to communicating assertively and confidently around your sexual identity is really important. “But when you have the energy, you should try to engage and educate.” “If I corrected someone every time they called me gay, I’d have no life,” he muses. Zane told me that he deals with bi erasure “all the time”, but he picks his battles when it comes to tackling it. ‘Pansexual’ is usually used to mean ‘attraction regardless of gender’ which has a huge overlap with bisexuality, ‘attraction to two or more genders’.”) “Most bisexual people I know are also attracted to trans and non-binary people. “I’m bisexual, and my spouse is non-binary,” Cohen says. (Side note: Many bi people also identify as pansexual, Cohen and myself included. Compared to 63 percent of gay men and lesbians, only 20 percent of bi people are out to all of their family, and two out of five of us have hidden or disguised our identity at work for fear of discrimination. These biphobic beliefs have knockon effects on our community.
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All bullshit – although personally, I am slutty, so feel free to slide into my DMs. 4) We’ll automatically cheat on you and give you an STI. Let’s get some of them out of the way now: 1) We’re all slutty. Unfortunately, bi and pan guys have to put up with a tornado of assumptions and stereotypes. Go to places where it's not frowned upon too, because you don't want to think, ‘Oh, I also might experience homophobia’.”
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He added: “Maybe this is old-fashioned, but I do think being in-person, seeing each other's facial expressions and body language is probably better. Chatting and messaging and seeing if you get on with people is a decent start.” This is a good strategy, regardless of who you’re looking to trade bodily fluids with.īisexual activist and Bisexual Brunch podcaster Lewis Oakley has a few more tips: “Gay clubs are obviously a good bet, and there are loads of apps. If you’re nervous, ask verbal questions – “Can I sit closer to you?”, “I’m thinking about kissing you, is that OK?” – which immediately eliminates any ambiguity. Make eye contact, smile, ask questions, listen.” But in general, flirt the way you like to be flirted with.
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They often make it very clear very quickly if they’re into you or not. “You can be more direct and make more sustained eye contact. “In my experience, guys are a lot easier to flirt with than women,” Zane says.